The Convenient Veil

"We have come dangerously close to accepting the homeless situation as a problem that we just can't solve." Linda Lingle


I remember the days as a child that looked at the people on the street with fear and curiosity, never really knowing why they were different but aware that they were. This was the beginning of my disillusioned perception of us vs. them. I knew I didn't want to be them and I knew I didn't want to actually see them either. As the years progressed my curiosity grew as did my fear. I found myself getting frustrated, angry even, that I would "have" to come into contact with them on a daily basis. I was placing a veil or rather a brick wall between myself and "them." I was convinced that if I didn't look, didn't smile and didn't talk to them then I wouldn't have to feel guilty for not caring. As I became an adult I began to inquire how this happened and why these people were on the street. What was it that made it impossible for them to find a home and a job? Why was this so difficult? I asked the questions but I never bothered to seek the answers. I was lost, lost in my world of privilege and ignorance not willing to stop and just ask. 


Then the veil was lifted and I was faced with reality. I began a job at Arapahoe House and worked as a detox counselor and a detox supervisor for the past year. I was forced to lift the veil of ignorance and see what was actually happening. I wont pretend that there weren't people in detox that didn't care and didn't want any help and actually preferred to be homeless, there were plenty. But there were also people that had lost everything, maybe because they trusted someone they shouldn't, or maybe because of just plain bad luck. Either way they were at the bottom now and they had no idea how to climb out. There were those with alcohol and drug issues, there were those with mental health issues, and there were those that had just had a bad few weeks. It was diverse, unique and constantly different. Trying to lump these people into one category was elitist and incredibly naive. As the months progressed I began to get to know some of the people, my fear subsided and I asked those forbidden questions. I listened, I cared, I finally saw the humanity within the homelessness. I no longer saw a blank meaningless person behind the sign, I saw the person who was simply asking for help. Instead of giving money I offered my compassion and my own humanity. I wanted to understand and I wanted to help. As I worked with this population it became blatantly clear that it was nearly impossible to find housing, a job or any form of sustainability within the community. Times are hard, every person in this country is having to cut back, but for those that have next to nothing there are no options. Some wanted to go into treatment, not because they were an addict but because it was a roof over there head and a place they could call home. Each day I heard a different story and different solutions. Although the possibilities were few and far between many of the people I worked with NEVER lost hope. They worked the phones for hours, they had long lists of places they could stay and people to try and work for. Their ideas and their creativity were endless. I met people with incredible talents; art, humor, business, mechanics, you name it I saw it. It was humbling and inspirational. The adaptability and the courage of the human spirit was overwhelming. I learned what is was to be human form these people and I am still learning to this day. When I left detox I found myself missing a piece of my life and I couldn't figure it out. It wasn't until one day I was stopped at a light and I found myself looking away from the person on the corner attempting to fiddle with my ipod, and he said, "Hey Colleen! Its me it great to see you!" It was a previous client. I had once again hidden behind that brick wall of ignorance only to have him bust through it with a huge smile. I realized then and there I wanted to keep listening, I wanted to keep reaching out and I wanted to still try. I decided to raise awareness and to lend my compassion and simple humanity to those living on the street. I wanted to tell their stories. It would be a privilege and an honor to be able to sit across from another person and have them trust me to listen and then to spread their story, their truth about their own journey. It is their humanity I want to reveal, it is their compassion that I have been blessed with, it is their strength that continues to humble me. 


I realize that many of us, even those on the street now have gone through a period in their life where they felt this way about the homeless population. It is a problem so vast and endless that many of us don't even know where to begin. This is my beginning, this is the place where I stop, smile and ask, why are you here? What happened?  What is your story?